Hippopotamus. Great White Shark. Your Ex-wife…They all pack a punch, but none of em are looming at the end of every Tough Mudder course (except maybe your ex-wife?). One thing you will find is Electroshock Therapy.
As a finish line emcee I’ve seen a lot of people run through this bad boy. Some manage to do it with style and grace, but others, well…not so much. If you want to crush it like a boss, read these tips carefully.
Do – Treat the wires like they stole your girl. Yell at them, and leave them in the dust. Seriously, get mad. Put on your game face and let out a scream. Sure, you’ll look crazy, but you’re already running through a field of white hot electricity with no shirt and a tutu on.
Do – Make friends with the wires. Unbridled rage not your thing? Try introducing yourself to Electroshock and asking it out to a nice steak dinner. Maybe it’ll take it easy on you. Or maybe it’ll be insulted you didn’t notice its new hot zones and get you even worse. Your call.
Do – Dream about the Beer on the other side. Did you forget there is a beer on the other side? Yeah, I thought so. Just jog on through and grab a frosty cold one. Afterall, it’s always tastier when you earn it.
Do – Have a legionnaire show you how it’s done. If you’re running with one of our vaunted legionnaires or even if you aren’t, watch one of them run through and show you how a pro does the job.
Do – Have a sense of humor. The fact is, you’re going to get shocked. You’re going to look silly doing it, and you may even fall down in the mud. You know what else? It’s going to be hilarious. So get over yourself and laugh along with us, or at the next poor runner behind you.
Don’t Do This:
Don’t – Bob and weave. You are going to get shocked. The only way to make EST worse is to get cute with it and try to dance around the wires. EST ain’t cute, it’s whatever the opposite of cute is. So just plow through it and hope for the best.
Don’t – Start out like a boss unless you can finish like a boss. Some guys come through, put their arms out straight to the sides and walk slowly through to maximize shocks. Some of them actually pull it off. These people are insane, but at least they committed to their insanity. Other people start off like this, get one shock and then bolt. Don’t be those people. Be a boss, a true champion and commit.
Don’t – Link arms with your friends and run through. There is no way to guarantee hitting every single wire like making a big slow moving wall. Also…in no way does it help absorb the shock.
Or Do – Link arms with your friends and run through. Wait, what? You just said NOT to do this!? Here is the thing: yes, it’s going to suck, but the quickest way to solidify a relationship is to shock the hell out of it. So link arms with a friend or five and hit every single wire and become bonded for life.
Don’t believe me? Ask anyone that’s ever linked up and listen to their story, because trust me…it haunts them.
Don’t – Act too cool for the obstacle. You wear leather jackets, your hair is always perfectly messy and you always do the worm at parties. You. Are. Cool. But guess what. Electroshock don’t care about any of that. Respect the wires, or trust me, they will make you respect them.
Don’t – Forget about your entourage while you’re on the inside. They all came to watch you get through this course. They’re all here. Your wife or husband, your kids, your parents, even your weird uncle Dale came. Remember that when you get inside and do them proud. Or scream like a baby and trip over the hay bales. Either way, they’re getting their money’s worth.
Finally, the biggest DO of all. DO remember why you came to the course.
Was it to have fun? Was it to be part of something positive? Was it to overcome a fear? Whatever your reason, by the time you get this shocking obstacle you’ve conquered so many challenges you won’t want to leave without showing everyone, or maybe just yourself, that you can, and will, finish what you started.
Because, in my opinion, Electroshock Therapy is what Tough Mudder is ALL about. It’s the ultimate push-past-your-comfort-zone, dig deep obstacle.